When it comes to online dating, one of the most difficult things can be writing that first message to someone. Many people are nervous about introducing themselves, which most often is due to their fear of rejection.

There’s no need to nervous about writing that first message. What do you have to lose? It’s not a face-to-face encounter with all of your friends watching to see if you get turned down. The worst case scenario will be a response of “thanks, but I’m not interested”, or you get no reply what so ever.

Before you send a message make sure to read the whole profile of the member you are writing to. This will give you a better sense of the person’s interests, which will in turn give you some ideas of what to talk about in your first message. It will also tell the person that you actually took the time to read and appreciate their profile, which gets you points from the start.

Consider joining a niche dating site where you already have something in common with most of the members, this will also make it easier for you to find things to talk about. For example, if you’re seeking Equestrian Singles consider a site such as TheHitchingPost.net, the Hitching Post is an online community exclusively for American and Canadian cowboys, cowgirls, horse enthusiasts, farmers, ranchers, equestrian singles, and those into the country way of life!

Don’t get too carried away in the first initial message. This is just an introduction of yourself. Keep the message short and simple and light hearted. Something like, “Hello, I was reading over your profile and found that it appears we may have a lot in common. If you would be interested in maybe getting to know each other a little better, please feel free to message anytime”. You can also mention one or two key things if you want, but most often this is sufficient as a primer to get the ball rolling.

Don’t throw in any pick-up lines. Pick-up lines always come off sounding insincere and may result in immediate rejection without a second thought.

Don’t try too hard to impress someone with your first message. First impressions are important, but if you go over board, you may not be able to live up to the impression you described. Also, don’t spend a great deal of time talking about yourself either – allow the person a chance to reply and inquire more about you.

The most advantageous part about online dating is anonymity and the lack of a face-to-face confrontation. This is especially great for shy or insecure people who want to build up their confidence. Also, this gives you the comfort of knowing that if things become too intense or if the person does not turn out to be what you expected, you can easily back off and just ignore them. Most dating sites have a feature that allows you to block members from contacting you any further.

If the first message happens to go well and they are responding, don’t get too enthusiastic and start rushing things too quickly. Relax, enjoy the process of getting to know someone gradually. The better friends you become first, the more likely the relationship has in lasting.

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